I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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