Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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