ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
