Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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