life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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