dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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