Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
