So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
All the doctor said was why
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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