I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
