It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
