I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
