i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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