just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
