sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
