It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
