you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
