the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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