It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
