This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
