OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
