normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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