What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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