Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
