I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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