is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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