dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Sober January is a disaster.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
