hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
