She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
