Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
