Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
