careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
