i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
