he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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