You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
