Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
