I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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