I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
