Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
