he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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