we're making bets on your personal life
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
