i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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