I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
