Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
