To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
