Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
