Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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