I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
