Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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