that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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