Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
