scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
