mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
